One of the saddest things about living in Northern Virginia is the local news. Aside from the fact that our local news is also the national political news (the local paper is the Washington Post), our proximity to some high-crime areas means that murder is an everyday occurance.
One of the most entertaining things about Rhea County is the local news. Because it's a sleepy region, the top news articles tend to read like the following lineup from this February:
INMATE HOLED UP IN CELL WITH KNIFE
RCHS STRUGGLES TO PLAY COMPLETE GAME
LAWMAKERS LOOK TO LIMIT MEDS
THACKER TO OVERSEE MAINTENANCE DEPT.
S.C. TALKS FIREWORKS, WATERWORKS
MUFFINS: THE PERFECT AFTERNOON TREAT
Of course, reading small town classifieds is just plain depressing when an apartment can't be had in Arlington for less than $1000 a month. So instead of getting bummed out about the latest rent check I'll share my favorite Rhea County news stories with you.
POLICE HURT IN RESCUE
Story by Michael Reneau, summary by me
The story: Sheriff's Deputy Gerald "Taco" Brewer was injured while trying to rescue a man who was threatening suicide. It should be noted that Gerald "Taco" Brewer was not the only officer injured, but Gerald "Taco" Brewer is always featured prominently in the Herald-News, probably because any excuse to mention Gerald "Taco" Brewer can only help to promote readership among people who love reading about the escapades of a sheriff's deputy named Gerald "Taco" Brewer-- and that's everybody.
Brewer arrived at the scene and spent two and a half hours unsuccessfully trying to coax the man down. When the man jumped, he was hanging from a noose made from a bedsheet. Another officer grabbed the (250 lb) man's feet to try to support him while Brewer climbed 14 feet up the tree, cut the bedsheet noose, didn't let go of the sheet in time, and was pulled out of the tree. Brewer and the officer that that the man landed on were both injured, but the 250 lb man with the noose around his neck was fine.
MAN ESCAPES OFFICERS: LEADS AUTHORITIES ON HIGH-SPEED CHASE
Story by Shelly Kirchner, summary by me
Please open this link in a new tab and turn up your sound while reading this one.
One Mr. David Wicks escaped the Rhea County courtroom, tumbled down a flight of stairs, and ran out the back door. Sheriff's officers Wayne Wilkey and Roger Rucker followed Wicks out the door, and then all the way around the courthouse and back, until Wicks got back to where he started, jumped into his car, and drove away. Granted, Wayne Wilkey and Roger Rucker huffing and puffing the full circuit around the courthouse was not the high-speed chase part of the story, but for a story with nary a mention of Gerald "Taco" Brewer, it's got some finely named sheriff's deputies.
SCHOOLS CLOSE DUE TO STENCH
Story by Michael Reneau, summary by me
The local high school had to close when the farmer who owned the adjacent property dumped 17 truckloads of chicken shit on his fields and the kids started throwing up.
Bonus: Click here to see street cleaning, Rhea County style
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